The Dark Psychology of Death Fetishes

The Dark Psychology of Death Fetishes

Death and sex. They are humanity's two greatest taboos, and two topics that make a vast majority of people deeply uncomfortable.

We spend most of our lives avoiding talking about them individually—so what happens when they collide?

Today, we are diving into the complex, disturbing, and utterly fascinating world of death-related paraphilias.

As longtime followers will know, before I worked in hospice and death education, I was a psychosexual therapist. My work often centered around fetishes and sexual disorders, and in the rarest of cases, those issues overlapped with death.

Before we dive in, let’s set a boundary: This post is educational. We are looking at this from a psychological and historical perspective to better understand the human mind. This is not a judgment, but rather an exploration of the darker corners of human sexuality.

This is for those with critical thinking skills and a mature fascination with the human brain. Act accordingly.

Kinks vs. Fetishes vs. Paraphilias: Know the Difference

Before we get into specific examples, we need to clear up some terminology. People throw these words around interchangeably online, but clinically, they are very different levels of behavior.

Here is the most basic breakdown:

• A Kink is a non-traditional sexual behavior used to spice things up. You can take it or leave it depending on your mood or partner.

• A Fetish is a kink that has become a deep, abiding, and often necessary element for you to achieve sexual arousal.

• A Paraphilia is a fetish that has escalated to the point where it results in negative life consequences.

Think of it like alcohol. A kink is casual drinking on a Friday night—fun, but you don't need it. A fetish is heavy drinking—you need it to have a good time. A paraphilia is alcoholism—it is unhealthy, problematic, and destroying your life or the lives of others.

All the extreme paraphilias we are about to discuss have lesser "kink" versions that aren't necessarily an issue. But when taken to the extreme, they become some of the most disturbing disorders recognized by psychology.

Necrophilia: Sexual Attraction to Corpses

Let’s start with the most well-known death-related paraphilia. Necrophilia is universally seen as a negative and is considered a massive taboo in virtually every society.

Researchers break this down into levels. Some individuals purely fantasize about the dead but never act on it. Others are aroused simply by being in the same room as a corpse. And then, there are those who actually engage in sexual acts with dead bodies—either opportunistically (through their work) or predatorily (killing specifically to have access to a body).

The Psychology: Why does this develop? Theories suggest it stems from an extreme need for control. A corpse can't reject you, leave you, or judge you. It is often linked to severe trauma, a profound fear of abandonment, or psychopathy.

(And for the record: Necrophilia is exceedingly rare. The vast majority of people who work in death care have absolutely zero sexual arousal toward corpses.)

Lust Murder: Sexual Arousal from Homicide

Also known as erotophonophilia, this is when someone experiences sexual arousal from committing murder or fantasizing about doing so.

This is arguably the most dangerous paraphilia because it inherently requires harming others. The arousal comes from the ultimate control over another person's life and death. Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the BTK killer all exhibited signs of this, openly admitting to receiving sexual gratification from the act of killing.

What makes this particularly chilling is how well these individuals can mask it. Many maintain normal jobs and relationships, making it incredibly difficult to identify the risk before they act on their urges.

Flirting with Death: Edge Play & Asphyxiation

Some people are sexually aroused by staging situations where they are in danger of being killed. This is edge play. It is vital to note that this is not suicidal intent. They don't want to die; they are aroused by the adrenaline of a life-threatening simulation.

A related, highly dangerous paraphilia is erotic asphyxiation (restricting oxygen to the brain to intensify climax).

The danger here is that passing out happens quickly and unpredictably. Autoerotic asphyxiation results in hundreds of accidental deaths every year. Because they are often found by grieving family members, these accidental deaths are frequently mistaken for suicides. Brain damage or death can occur in just a few minutes.

Vorarephilia: The Fantasy of Being Eaten

Usually shortened to vore, this is the arousal or fantasy of being eaten alive, eating another person, or watching someone be eaten.

In almost all cases, this stays purely in the realm of fantasy (artwork, stories, roleplay). It's often about total submission, losing complete control, or extreme intimacy.

Real-world cases are exceptionally rare, but they do happen. The most notorious is the 2001 Armin Meiwes case in Germany, where Meiwes posted an online ad seeking someone willing to be killed and eaten—and a willing volunteer actually responded.

Hybristophilia: Attraction to Criminals

We’ve all questioned this one at some point. Why do serial killers get love letters in prison?

Often called "Bonnie and Clyde syndrome," this is the sexual attraction to people who have committed serious, violent crimes. Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez married women while incarcerated. Chris Watts (who murdered his pregnant wife and daughters) still receives love letters and money in prison.

Theories suggest it’s driven by a desire to "fix" someone, the thrill of danger without the actual physical risk (because the person is locked up), or a need to feel special ("He killed all those people, but he loves me").

A Quick PSA: Somnophilia & Vampirism

There are two other paraphilias we need to touch on, specifically because of the harm they cause.

Somnophilia is sexual attraction to unconscious people. Because unconsciousness is a death-like state, it can intersect with necrophilia. Let's be very clear: someone who is unconscious cannot consent. This is sexual assault. It is alarmingly common for individuals to drug their partners at night, or take advantage of deep sleepers, to engage in this behavior. Yes, it is abuse. Yes, it is illegal.

Clinical Vampirism (Renfield’s syndrome) is sexual arousal to blood. While pop culture romanticizes it, real clinical cases are different. While some practice consensual bloodletting with partners (a kink), extreme paraphilia cases have led to violent assault and murder.

Why are we talking about this?

I know there are some who will ask, "Why are you giving attention to these disturbing subjects?"

The answer is that ignoring them doesn't make them go away.

By understanding these paraphilias, we can better protect potential victims, improve forensic investigations, and—most importantly—reduce the stigma just enough so that people struggling with these intrusive thoughts seek professional help before they commit a crime.

Having disturbing thoughts doesn't make you a monster. Acting on them to harm others does.

These paraphilias represent the most extreme intersections between human sexuality and psychology. Understanding them isn't about normalizing harmful behavior; it's about acknowledging reality so we can work toward prevention and treatment. It is a stark reminder that death continues to fascinate, terrify, and sometimes pathologically attract us in ways we still don't fully understand.

Go talk death.