Handling a Death in School Communities – Why Most Schools Get It Wrong

Why Schools Need to Be Prepared

The average Australian high school has around 600 students and about 45 staff. Statistically, the likelihood of experiencing a death in the school community is high. Despite this, most schools continue to take a reactive — rather than proactive — approach. Whether it’s a car accident, illness, suicide, or other tragedy, death doesn’t wait for a school to be ready.

So, how should a school handle a death in its community? Which schools have done it well, and which have completely missed the mark? Let's unpack what works, what doesn't, and why being proactive matters more than ever.

Watch The Full Video:

Personal Reflections: Death is Not Rare in Schools

Over 12 years as a student and six years working in schools, I’ve seen how common these events really are:

• A Year 2 student hit by a car while riding his tricycle.

• A Year 12 student who died in a car crash.

• A staff member lost to terminal cancer.

• A bus driver having a fatal heart attack behind the wheel.

• A student from a brother school who died by suicide on campus.

• A boarding student who passed away from complications related to diabetes.

And those are just the deaths — not to mention the many losses of siblings and parents that impacted the student body.

Despite how common these situations are, responses from schools have ranged from excellent to absolutely damaging.

Why Most Schools Respond Poorly

The core problem? Death avoidance. Staff who are uncomfortable talking about death default to silence, denial, or rushed routines. This leads to:

• Poor communication

• Lack of student support

• Rushed return to normalcy

• Long-term trauma for students

In contrast, death-literate schools — with leaders who are comfortable and capable of discussing grief — respond with compassion, structure, and support. That’s the difference.

Six Essential Steps Every School Should Follow After a Death

Here’s what a well-handled response looks like:

1. Immediate, Sensitive Communication

Notify staff, students, and families with fast, factual, and compassionate messaging. Avoid glamorizing or demonizing the death, especially if it was by suicide.

2. Consult Mental Health Experts

Bring in crisis support teams such as psychologists or Headspace. Staff should be briefed on what to say — and what not to say — in a trauma-informed way.

3. Grief and Mental Health Support

Set up quiet spaces with trained counselors. Support must be ongoing, not just a one-day gesture. Keep an eye on vulnerable students and offer flexibility.

4. Respectful Memorialization

Allow space for grief: condolence books, flowers, and student-led tributes. Avoid permanent memorials after a suicide to prevent glorification.

5. Careful Return to Routine

Stability matters, but don’t rush it. Flexibility with exams and postponing big events like carnivals can show empathy and respect.

6. Suicide-Specific Postvention

When suicide is involved, use protocols from experts like Headspace. Focus on reducing risk of further suicides and supporting the entire community.

What Good School Responses Look Like

Sydney Grammar, 2019 – A Compassionate Suicide Response

Following a student’s suicide (off campus), the school communicated quickly and clearly. Support services were in place the next day, students were given flexibility, and memorials were student-led. Staff received urgent training to help guide their students — and it showed.

Melbourne Public School, 2021 – A Thoughtful Response to Illness

After a student’s sudden death from illness, the school collaborated with the Department of Education’s crisis team. Classes were optional, memorials were held, and parents were kept informed with regular updates.

Girls' Grammar School, 2012 – Empathetic Response During Exams

When two students died in a car crash, the school organized grief assemblies, quiet rooms, and adjusted exam timetables. Parents were even offered grief workshops — a forward-thinking and compassionate touch.

Where It Went Wrong: Examples of Poor School Responses

Regional Victoria, 2015 – The Silence That Hurt

A student died by suicide, and the school said nothing. No counselors, no acknowledgement, and no memorials. The silence caused deep harm and worsened grief for many students.

Gold Coast School, 2018 – Cold Communication

After a student died in a car accident, the school sent a blunt email with no support offered. Teachers were overheard saying "life goes on," which only deepened the pain for grieving students.

Sydney Catholic Girls’ School, 2024 – A PR Disaster

A bullied student died by suicide. Her family and friends created a small memorial outside the school — which the school then removed. They claimed mental health advice, but no reputable group had advised this. The backlash was swift, and the school was forced to apologize publicly.

Final Thoughts: Be Proactive, Not Reactive

The bottom line? Schools must have systems in place before a tragedy strikes. Young people deserve a school community that acknowledges grief and supports healing.

At Taboo Education, we work with schools across Australia to build real, proactive strategies around death, dying, and grief. From teacher training to student workshops, we help schools move from death-avoidant to death-competent — because that’s what young people need.

Want More Support?

📥 Download Our Digital Resource: 6 Steps Schools Must Take After a Death
Packed with tools for educators, parents, and school leaders to handle death and grief in the school context.

👥 Book a One-on-One Consult or Workshop
If you’d like to bring this work into your school, reach out via our website for tailored guidance, training, or staff sessions.